Feeling Invisible, Irritable, or Disconnected?

You’re not “just hormonal.”
You’re not being selfish.
You’re human—and you’re in the middle of a major life transition.

I help people heading toward or moving through an empty nest—those who’ve spent years pouring themselves into their families, partners, and communities. Parents, caregivers, partners, friends—the ones who’ve been the glue holding everything together through thick and thin.

You’ve spent decades managing schedules, packing lunches, juggling appointments, cheering from the sidelines, staying up late helping with projects, and remembering the birthdays of in-laws and neighbors. You’ve been the over-giver, the peacekeeper, the tireless supporter. And now, as the kids grow up and need you less—or at least in different ways—you might be wondering, What now?
Who am I if I’m not taking care of everyone else?

Feeling unmoored and disconnected is more common than you think. And you’re not alone.

This Is Grief—Even If No One Died

There’s a particular kind of ache that comes with this transition. It’s not always talked about, but it’s very real.

Many people think of grief only as the reaction to death or trauma. But grief is actually what happens anytime we lose something meaningful. When your daily rhythm changes, when your role in your family shifts, when your body begins to change—these are all losses. And they bring grief.

You might feel sadness, anger, numbness, or confusion. Sometimes you might feel nothing at all, which can be just as scary. Perimenopause often amplifies these feelings—thanks to hormonal shifts that can make emotions feel bigger and more intense. You might feel like a stranger in your own skin, overwhelmed by waves of feelings that seem to come out of nowhere.

This grief is normal, valid, and important.

It can feel disorienting and lonely. You might ask yourself, “What’s wrong with me?” or “Why do I feel so lost when everything looks fine on the outside?” You might hear that familiar voice of guilt telling you to just be grateful, to stop being so sensitive.

But the truth is: you’re not broken. You’re human. You’re going through a major life transition, and it’s okay to need support.

What Is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy and How Can It Help?

Many people who come to therapy for grief, perimenopause, or identity shifts find relief and clarity through Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. IFS is a compassionate, strengths-based approach that recognizes that inside each of us are many “parts”—different feelings, thoughts, and impulses that can sometimes feel conflicting or overwhelming.

For example, part of you might feel grief and sadness, while another part feels anger or frustration. There might be a part that just wants to shut down or avoid feeling anything at all. And then there’s the “Self”—a core of calm, compassion, and clarity that can help heal and harmonize these parts.

IFS helps you listen to these parts without judgment, understand their messages, and create internal cooperation. It’s especially powerful when navigating complex emotions like grief and the changes that come with perimenopause, because it helps you stay connected to your true Self while honoring the experience of each part.

Therapy Can Help You Come Home to Yourself

When you’ve spent years putting everyone else first, it can be hard to know what you need or even what you want. You may have gotten so good at caretaking that your own desires feel like a distant memory.