Perimenopause: What no one talks about
Thank the universe for Oprah Winfrey. Before Oprah began talking about menopause, it was really never heard of. Despite Oprah and new resources being offered, menopause is still taboo. It is misrepresented, misunderstood, and easy to push to the side. Here’s what you should know:
There is no such things as pre- or post-menopause. Perimenopause is the term we use when a woman experiences symptoms (common symptoms are hot flashes, sleepless nights, and mood changes). It’s usually 10 years later that menopause comes and stays. Menopause means a woman is no longer fertile. It will never go away. A woman will be in menopause the rest of her life.
Many of my clients have described perimenopause as “power taken away”. They compare perimenopause to a second puberty. They mourn that the first puberty gave them power and beauty and perimenopause was opposite.
What I notice right away is that these clients go through perimenopause alone. Their partners tell them “Stop being such a bitch” and their children roll their eyes and leave the room.
I argue that perimenopause is a sexist problem before it is a medical problem. We have medication for ED that works like a charm. We have medication for migraines, menstrual cramps, and broken femurs. But we are just barely looking into medication for perimenopause symptoms.
Why have we pushed perimenopause to the side and forced women to face it alone? Is it because we first made her in charge of all of our emotions? Is it because we first took away her rights? Is it because we don’t teach emotional regulation to boys?
The greatest advocate a woman has in perimenopause is herself. But it would feel a lot better if husbands, partners, doctors, and children were advocates too, right? I know so. It’s what I’m fighting for as a professional. And the reason I’m fighting for it is because women deserve more than what they get. The world will be a safer place when women are taken care of.
Check out my About Therapy for Perimenopause page to learn more about support during this stage.
Grief isn’t always about death—it can come from change, distance, or losing a sense of who you are.
I'm Katherine Linscott, LMFT. I offer Grief Therapy for those navigating life shifts like emotional distance from family, identity loss, or transitions that leave you feeling untethered.
I also offer therapy for women 45+ and their support systems going through perimenopause.
This season of life is complex—but you don’t have to go through it alone. Learn more about me, or visit my Blog & Podcast or Homepage.