What to do during perimenopause: How Rest Supports Mental Health During Perimenopause
Welcome to the podcast.
In this series, we’ll explore perimenopause through a unique lens—drawing from female wisdom across cultures, lived experiences, and identities. We'll look beyond just symptoms and science, and instead focus on how you can define your own version of health and claim your power during this transformative time.
As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist trained in systemic thinking, I bring a different perspective. While many podcasts focus on hormones, medications, and clinical terms, this space centers the emotional, social, and cultural systems that shape how we experience perimenopause—and how we’ve been taught to understand womanhood itself.
We’ll talk about hobbies, health, identity, nutrition, and so much more—all with a focus on insight and empowerment.
This podcast is created for all women—trans women, cisgender women, biological females, women of all ethnicities, disabled women, single or partnered—and for the people who love and support them.
Join me on this journey, and feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s grow through this together.
Transcript:
Welcome Back
Hi, I’m Katherine Linscott, and welcome to the What To Do During Perimenopause Podcast. Last week, we explored the importance of hobbies and how they help us reconnect to identity during big life changes. Today, we’re talking about something just as essential—rest.
But first, I have to vent.
The Invisible Algorithm
The other day, I Googled “perimenopause” while doing some SEO work for my practice. Only 19 pages came up—and it wasn’t until page 10 that I saw anything meaningful or helpful. Oprah’s guide didn’t show up until page 10!
Quick shoutout: Oprah Daily’s “Your Complete Guide to Perimenopause” is a fantastic resource—definitely check it out.
But really, why is it this hard to find good info?
Here’s the truth: perimenopause professionals exist—but we’re not showing up on page one. Not because we’re not here, but because we’re buried by an algorithm that doesn’t prioritize women’s health. So if you’re looking for support and struggling to find it, please don’t give up. You deserve care, information, and empowerment during this life stage.
Perimenopause and the Pressure to Push Through
Alright, on to rest.
Oof. Rest.
When I hear that word, I can almost hear the scripts:
“No one has time for rest.”
“No rest for the wicked.”
“Rest is for when everything’s done.”
But here’s the thing—everything is never done. So when do we get to rest?
Many of my clients arrive exhausted, juggling endless tasks, running on fumes, and wondering why they feel resentful, disconnected, or numb. A common thread? They believe rest is something they have to earn.
Let’s change that.
What Do You Think of When You Hear “Rest”?
Sleep? Laziness? Days off work? Doing absolutely nothing?
Technically, all true.
But we need a better definition—because rest is not just physical. It’s emotional, mental, spiritual, and more. Even Oxford Languages offers a fascinating spread of meanings: not moving, not being used, being supported, no longer agitated, at peace—even death.
Rest has always been treated as physical stillness. But we are more than bodies. And in a society where doing is prized over being, reclaiming rest is radical.
Why Society Gets Rest So Wrong
There’s a cultural bias that makes rest feel like failure. Think of sayings like, “Idleness is the devil’s playground” or how some generations are labeled as lazy or soft. This mindset trickles into how we view ourselves—especially during seasons of struggle.
When clients tell me, “Other people have it worse” or “I shouldn’t complain,” I gently interrupt.
Rest is not earned.
Rest is not shameful.
Rest is necessary.
The Pendulum Lifestyle: A New Way to Live
For the past three years, I’ve lived by something called the pendulum lifestyle—a rhythm of ebb and flow, grounded in listening to your actual needs.
Some days you run marathons. Some days you eat cake. Some days you cancel plans and take a nap. That’s life. That’s Nature. The pendulum lifestyle gave me permission to stop chasing perfection and start responding to my body’s wisdom.
And that’s where rest really begins.
The 7 Types of Rest
(plus how to approach each with a pendulum mindset)
1. Social Rest
This might mean reconnecting—or disconnecting. Ask yourself:
Am I overextending myself socially?
Am I feeling isolated?
Social rest may be:
Saying no to a gathering
Calling a friend who sees you deeply
Finding your “tribe”—emotionally intelligent, affirming, supportive people
Joining a therapy group
Your social circle should nourish you, not drain you.
2. Creative Rest
Creativity isn’t a luxury—it’s human nature.
Too often, people tell me they’ll be creative after they’ve done everything else. But creativity is a source of rest and regulation.
Creative rest might look like:
Coloring
Writing poems
Doodling
Rearranging a room
Listening to music without multitasking
Let your nervous system play.
3. Spiritual Rest
Spiritual rest doesn’t have to mean religion. It means connection to something bigger—even if that’s your breath.
It can look like:
Prayer or meditation
Yoga or lying in stillness
Walking a labyrinth
Listening to sacred or soothing music
Journaling through your parts
Ask: What aligns with my soul right now?
4. Mental Rest
If your brain is always “on,” you need mental rest. I know I do. My brain is a sponge—and even inspiration can become exhausting.
Mental rest might mean:
Putting down the self-help books
Turning off the podcasts
Folding laundry in silence
Letting your thoughts float without grabbing them
Playing a mindless game
Mental rest is about not having to learn, fix, or figure out.
5. Sensory Rest
We are overstimulated. Constantly. Sensory rest reduces the “noise.”
Try:
Putting your phone away
Turning off the TV
Using blackout curtains
Wearing noise-canceling headphones
Sitting in a quiet room with natural light
And don’t forget boundaries. Picture your home: who’s allowed in the bedroom of your life? Who belongs on the porch? Across the street? Set those energetic boundaries.
6. Emotional Rest
Emotional rest happens when we’re allowed to feel without performance or judgment.
Ways to cultivate it:
Be with people who love you as-is
Ask for positive affirmation
Emote: cry, yell, laugh
Dance in your chair, do yoga, sing karaoke
Try humor (shoutout to perimenopause comedians on YouTube!)
Emotions need motion. Resting emotionally often means allowing emotions to move.
7. Physical Rest
Perimenopause is physically demanding. You need rest. Full stop.
This can include:
Deep sleep
Stretching
Gentle movement
Walking in nature
Yoga or tai chi
On low-energy days, just lie down. Trust your body.
Listen to Your Energy, Not Your Inner Critic
In all of these rest types, listening to your energy—not your guilt—is what matters.
Perimenopause often brings brain fog, sleep disruption, and fatigue. So adjust. Honor the pendulum. Let rest be a daily practice instead of a last resort.
Check out this Psychology Today article on the pendulum lifestyle if you’d like to learn more.
Therapeutic Rest Resources
I’ve created a living list of therapists, sleep experts, and holistic care providers who support perimenopause. I’ll keep adding to it as I go.
Find it here: Resources for Perimenopause
Coming Up Next: Embodiment
Thank you for joining me today as we explored rest.
Next week, we’ll talk about embodiment—what it means to truly live in your body, and how that changes during perimenopause.
Until then, choose one type of rest that resonates—and start there.
You don’t have to earn it.
You just have to receive it.
[ID: Every female in perimenopause needs a good hair expert, active hobby, experiential psychotherapist, and friends. She needs all the advocates she can get that empower her to be her own greatest advocate. Quote by Katherine Linscott, LMFT. End ID]